Chicago Cubs Baseball

So this is where the first half of Chicago Cubs baseball has taken us.  After 82 games, the loyal fans of Cubdom have been treated to a seemingly endless display of hitting ineptitude, a mountain of general malaise and the equivalent in sports parlance, of kissing one’s sister.

Or to put it more bluntly, a ho-hum 41-41 record.  And as we’re reminded nearly daily, with all the underachieving - not to mention the never-ending parade of injured Cub players to the disabled list - how lucky we are they’ve given us this much.

And the sad truth - from GM Jim Hendry to manger Lou Piniella to each and any of the players - is they’re right.  Both the Chicago Cubs and their fans are “lucky” to have a break-even record and remain within striking distance of the Central Division leaders.

It’s as important to note that the National League Central is probably the weakest division in baseball.  And in case you haven’t looked the Cubs are nearly equal distance from the bottom as they are from the top.

Just be thankful, when the Baseball Gods were aligning divisions the Pittsburgh Pirates were thrown into the Central mix.   And the Pirates brain trust with it.

If the Pirates were able to keep half the players they give away in each season’s fire sale, the club could likely be perennial contenders.  And where would that put the Cubs?

At least Cubdom has Hendry and his Wall Street-like payroll.  And for as little as the Cubs (and its loyal fans) have gotten for their money, so far this season no catcher has come away with a fat lip ala Michael Barrett.

In fact, the only thing Cub batters have been able to hit with consistency has been the Gatorade dispenser.   Even that’s been removed for a less hittable model.

But the Cubs have enough “big names” on their roster to fill any Times Square marquee.  And don’t worry about them going anywhere.  Thanks to Hendry these star-power players have contracts so big and so long that no clear thinking general manager in baseball would be willing to touch them.  Or want to.

These guys are locked in tighter than an AIG bonus and better yet, they’re all of ours to watch and groan over for the next ump-teen years.

Besides a Cubs uniform, there’s no place else where you can find that kind of security - except maybe, Bernie Madoff’s prison cell.

As Hendry has shown us, mediocrity doesn’t come cheap.  There’s a price to pay for kissing your sister and Hendry has proven he’s willing to spend it for that kind of thrill.

Now do you see how lucky we Cub fans are?