Chicago Cubs Baseball

I have a friend. His name is Fred.

We both love baseball. Fred has a favorite team. His favorite team is the St. Louis Cardinals.

I have a favorite team, too. They are the Chicago Cubs.

Fred likes it when the Cardinals play the Cubs - which is a lot. He likes it because his favorite team beats my favorite team - a lot.

This gives Fred a reason to call me. He likes to call me so he can laugh and poke fun at my team.

I have no comeback. I have no comeback because the Cubs are in last place. And last place is not very funny.

Fred’s team wins world championships. The Cubs do too - every 100 years or so. The Cardinals are world champs. My team has another name, too. The Cubs are also called “the lovable losers.” That’s not nice or very funny.

His Cardinals have Jim Edmonds in center field. My team has one left fielder and four right fielders. I think the Cubs will be adding a center fielder soon. I hope.

The Cardinals make awesome mid-season trades. St. Louis gets players like Scott Rolen.

The Cubs like to make mid-season trades, too. Last year they gave up Greg Maddux for Cesar Izturis. Maddux will be in baseball’s Hall of Fame someday. Izturis, probably not.

Rolen hits home runs and gets runners home. He also plays an awesome third base. Izturis is pretty good, too. He hits .200 and once made three errors in a game this season. He’s been playing so good the Cubs manager decided to give him a rest.

I tell Fred the Chicago Cubs will get better.  The $300 million spent on free agents proves  it.  He says that being in last place is a funny way of showing it.

Then he laughs.

And I hang up.