Chicago Cubs Baseball

Jim Hendry signed his man. Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella got a right fielder. And major league baseball got the Mitchell Report - or the Christmas equivalent of a lump of coal.

All in all, it was a good week for the Chicago Cubs and a very, very bad one for baseball.

Like any good department store Santa, Hendry listened to Piniella’s wish list and then promised the Chicago Cubs manager it would be a merry Christmas. And before you could say, “Fortune cookie,” Hendry delivered the top Japanese player in Kosuke Fukudome to the Cubs franchise.

It was the best present an outfield-challenged team like the Cubs could get. With the trade of Jacque Jones to Detroit and the release of Cliff Floyd, Chicago Cubs baseball was not only void of a right fielder, but lost two left-handed bats as well.

With Fukudome the Cubs filled two needs for the hefty price of one. Although unproven playing big boy baseball, Fukudome will be worth every dollar, farthing or yen if he performs even close to the level of his Japanese League play.

Last Wednesday’s signing not only brings Fukudome to the Cubs, but he touts some impressive statistics along with his luggage. Fukodome has a career .305 batting average, a gaudy .397 OBP and reportedly has been the “most productive offensive player per at bat over the past three seasons.”

Now that we know what Fukudome brings, I thought it only fair he knows what the Chicago Cubs are going to offer in return:

• F - Franchise: My first thought was foreign food, but franchise wins out. By coming to the Chicago Cubs, you are joining one of a handful of storied franchises in major league baseball. The Cubs may not have won a world series in 99 years, but there are few clubs which can claim their rich history.
• U - Uniform: Some of the best baseball players of all time have worn the Chicago Cub uniform. Billy Williams, Ernie Banks, Ron Santo : two Hall of Famers, and the last should be. When you don the Cubs pin stripes, you’ll be wearing over a century worth of tradition as well.
• K - Keys to the City: You and the rest of your new Cub teammates are one World Series championship away from owning Chi-town.
• U - Unwavering Loyalty: Also known as Cubdom, Cub Nation, Chicago Cub Fan. Chicago can be a tough place to play. Ask LaTroy Hawkins, Jacque Jones and others. But as a Cub you won’t find many places whose fans reward performance and effort better.
• D - Diamond: As in baseball diamond, as in Wrigley Field. One of major league baseball’s historic ball parks. You get to bask in its splendor from March through September - and hopefully into October.
• O - Opportunity: You have the opportunity to become part of Cub lore, of Chicago baseball history.
• M - Moolah: And lots of it. The dotted line you signed assures you’ll earn $12M in each of the next four years. That, Mr. Fukudome, is a lot of money.
• E - Envelope: That’s how you’ll be receiving your moolah - in small bills. Because that’s the way we do it in Chicago.