Chicago Cubs Baseball

If the World Series is the Grand Dame at major league baseball’s annual ball, then a division title must at least be her good lookin’ friends. Unless, it happens to be the National League Central Division, in which case, the sloe-eyed, buck-toothed step sister is a more apt description.

Which would explain a lot of things. Like, why the Chicago Cubs have acted more like a wallflower than an actual participant at this 2007 dance .

Maybe I’ve missed the mark in our judgement. While I’ve been busy hanging terms like inept, ineffective and underachieving on the Chicago Cubs and its players, maybe the root cause is far more sinister than we imagined. Far more evil than a Billy Goat Curse, a Black Cat at Shea or Steve Bartman.

Maybe the Cubs are just victims of themselves. Maybe through these past 98 years of patient frustration, I’ve come to realize that Chicago Cub baseball isn’t really inept.

It’s just that the Cubs are - well, shy.

Maybe eye contact and a toothy smile is as good as it gets for these reluctanct suitors. Because actually closing the deal on the Central Division title seems outside of these Chicago Cubs’ comfort zone. It’s far easier to cling to the barstool and hope all this talk of titles and World Series crowns would just go away.

But no matter how many blown leads, blown saves and blown opportunities, the Central Division title continues to play the part of the step sister siren, luring the Cubs closer and closer before the music of 2007 stops.

Will the Cubs cast their clammy palms aside and grab the hand of potential glory, or will they allow the fear of rejection rule? Only time will tell.

But if the Cubs eventually do make it to the World Series, they’ll have to kiss the Grand Dame full on the mouth. Then it’s anyone’s guess what happens after that.